PARAGRAPH STRUCTURE
Part One: Run-On Sentences

by Nann Dunne

An author can get so engrossed in writing her story that she fails to break her tale into proper sentences and paragraphs. That’s fine on first drafts and even on revisions, but before sending the story out in search of a publisher, the writer must correct such oversights. Part One of this article focuses on a familiar culprit, run-on sentences.

Run-On Sentences
Sometimes the thoughts expressed in two separate sentences are so connected that they should be merged into one sentence. Joining of sentences is usually accomplished with coordinating conjunctions, most common of which are remembered with the acronym FANBOYS: For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So. In most cases, if you decide to merge two sentences, one of these conjunctions will be used. But guard against stretching a single sentence into three or four separate actions, such as this example:

The thief she was chasing veered into a dark alley, and the detective’s instinct warned her against pursuing him while she froze against the corner at the mouth of the alley and listened for sounds of movement, but the silence told her he could be lying in wait for her to come running in after him where he might put a bullet in her before she could see him so maybe she should call for backup.

This is not an exaggeration. I’ve seen many "sentences" similar to this. Beyond being grammatically incorrect, this sentence slows the action, confuses the reader, and distracts those who recognize its faulty construction. If you have a tendency to write run-on sentences, observe each one closely. Does your sentence have several complete thoughts in it? If so, divide the thoughts into single parts:

1.  The thief she was chasing veered into a dark alley.
2.  The detective’s instinct warned her against pursuing him.
3.  She froze against the corner at the mouth of the alley.
4.  She listened for sounds of movement.
5.  It was silent.
6.  He could be lying in wait for her.
7.  If she went in after him, he might put a bullet in her before she could see him.
8.  Maybe she should call for backup.

 These could stand as separate sentences in one paragraph. But some thoughts are so closely connected, they can be combined in a sentence without confusion. Here’s one version:

The thief she was chasing veered into a dark alley, and the detective’s instinct warned her against pursuing him. She froze against the corner at the mouth of the alley, listening for sounds of movement. It was silent. He could be lying in wait for her. If she went in after him, he might put a bullet in her before she could see him. Should she call for backup?

Some authors use long, involved sentences as their style, and some readers enjoy it. I confess I’m not one of those readers, but even I occasionally put a long, complex sentence into my stories, usually for pacing. The big difference between complex sentences and run-on sentences is their structure. Well-crafted complex sentences make proper use of conjunctions, commas, semi-colons, unambiguous pronouns (you always know to whom the pronouns refer), and most important, periods. Run-on sentences sound like an author jammed all her thoughts together and never stopped "talking" until she needed to take a breath.